The path to mental health

Your future testimony.

I feel like my emotions come in waves. Like when I'm around people it's great. I'm happily engaging in conversation and I think I'm fine again. When I get home the tide goes out and my anxiety settles back in. I start second-guessing everything I said in those conversations. I feel numb and question every life decision I've made. I regret the choices that I've made that have brought me to where I am today. Even though my current standpoint in life is viewed as successful by people looking in. I feel numb, I feel like crawling into a corner, curling into a ball and melting into the walls around me. I know this isn't me. I remember my joyful self I remember my adventure seeking self Now i just remember what it was like in past and hope it gets better.

After an episode of bipolar depression in my early twenties with psychosis. Two episodes of depression in the last 4 years, at 55 I am going through one of the most wonderful periods of my life. The mind is a landscape that changes all the time. Patience, courage, loving the shadow and light without fear or reproach, the arts, science, nature... are all precious allies. If I'm sailing today in calm waters, I have become a good damn sailor. I am not afraid of storms and reefs, and if the boat sinks, I throw myself into the water with my life jacket and I let myself float while looking at the stars.

For the past few years, I have been living with anxiety that I have learned to tame. The tightness in my throat, the nausea, the fear that sets in and the worst-case scenarios that flash by... I have learned that it is my thoughts that bring me these inner waves of fear and stress and that I must be vigilant to keep my inner balance and maintain a good mental health.